1. Deprecator-Belittler
This type of toxic individual will always look down on you. He or she will always make fun of everything you do, you say, and will even tell how silly or stupid your beliefs are. A toxic partner will not think twice of belittling you in front of other people, even in front of your friends and family. No matter how you talk to your partner about how hurtful it can be every time he or she belittle you, your feelings will be put aside like it is not valid at all. Saying it’s how stiff can you be for taking it seriously. The problem is not you nor your feelings, they are valid! What is invalid is how your toxic partner is treating you as a joke.
A toxic partner wants to be the superior in everything in the relationship and tolerating this won’t do you any good but harm. You will start to believe that you can’t make good any decisions. A toxic individual will always keep your self-esteem as low as possible and will let you believe no other man or woman will ever want you.
2. The “Bad Temper” Toxic Partner
Controlling by intimidation is a classic behavior of a toxic partner. Healthy relationships have healthy arguments and can talk about everything, laying cards on the table and will solve the problem together. Toxic partner on the other hand will intimidate you by losing their temper so you won’t have an energy to argue or discuss your thoughts. These individuals have an unpredictable “hair-trigger” temper, it’s like you’re walking on eggshells never quite knowing when and what will send him or her into a rage. A constant and continuous inability to know what will trigger an outburst can damage the victim’s health emotionally and physically. Take note if this emotionally abusive partner rarely shows this side to the outside world as he or she frequently seen as a pleasant person who everyone likes. A toxic partner when confronted about their anger will always turn tables and blame the other party about their outburst. Suddenly, it’s your fault why they screamed and cursed. They disown the responsibility for their dysfunctional behavior.
3. The Guilt-Inducer
Another type of toxic partners is those who makes you feel guilty every time you do something he or she doesn’t like, these are guilt inducer individuals. Sometimes, they will get someone else to transport their sense of “disappointment” to you. An example, your father calls up to tell you how disappointed your mother was that you didn’t come over for Sunday’s dinner. A guilt inducer not only encourage guilt to you but also be eliminating guilt if you decided to do what he or she wants. Individuals who are prone in a toxic partner makes the guilt-inducer more powerful as they have more control in almost everything in the relationship.
Incidentally, guilt induction is one of the most common form of control used by a toxic parent(s) to control their adult children.
On the other hand, a spouse or significant other masks their guilt-inducing character by supporting a decision you made -i.e., you wanted to go back to school –they will mask their guilt-inducer attitude by supporting you but subtly reminding you that the children misses you, or how you haven’t been paying much attention to him or her lately etc. As with all toxic behaviors, guilt-inducing is designed to control your behavior, so your toxic partner, parent, or friend gets what he or she wants.
4. The Overreactor/Deflector
Have you ever tried to tell your significant other that you’re unhappy or hurt about something they did then suddenly you find yourself taking care of their happiness or hurt instead? Worse, you feel bad about bringing it up because it “upsets” your partner? You’re dealing with an overreactor/deflector. Your initial concern or your own emotions are not being dealt with properly and suddenly becomes invalid because you get lost as you remorsefully take care of your partner’s feelings.
A deflector is someone who tries to move the target abuse to another. For example, you express your anger, irritation or disappointment to your partner regarding some issue or event – your spouse stays out with his/her friends two hours longer than they said they would and doesn’t even bother to call – and your toxic partner finds a way to make this your fault!
5. The Over-Dependent Partner
A person with passive behavior leads a lifestyle characterized by “running away”. Not deciding is a choice that will make you responsible of the outcome of that decision. Having a passive partner makes it toxic because you “have” to make most of the decisions for them –literally almost everything from where to have your dinner, what car to buy, if he or she will attend this party or not. And, of course, you’ll know when you’ve made the “wrong” decision by your partner’s passive aggressive behavior such as ignoring you because you chose a movie or restaurant they didn’t enjoy. Or you decided to spend the weekend at your parents with your partner but doesn’t speak to anyone for two days.
6. The “Independent” (Non-Dependable) Toxic Controller
This individual frequently disguises his or her toxic behavior simply as being “strong and independent”. This toxic individual mostly holds their pride high, they will seldomly keep to their promises and will control you by keeping you guessing what they’re about to do and will call you non-dependable. They’ll promise they’ll take you to dinner or they’ll pick up the kids at school, but something always comes up. They’ll give you reasonable excuse but it’s just simple as they don’t keep their commitments. As a result, they control you by making it next to impossible for you to make commitments or plans.
What’s even more distressing is that this type of toxic individual does not make you feel safe and secure in your relationship. It’s not just their behavior that’s unpredictable; you’re never quite sure that they are emotionally committed to you.
7. The User
Users are often seemed to be the nicest, most courteous, and most pleasant individuals. But this is just at the beginning of the relationship or if they can get something from you. What makes it toxic is that it is just a one-way road and you will end up not doing enough for them. Users are big time free loaders and energy drainers who will leave you if they find someone else who will do more for them. A user will occasionally do small things for you, it usually doesn’t cost them too much. That’s a red flag! And if you hesitate to do something for them, they’ll immediately hold it against you and will then induce guilt. Staying in a relationship with a user is like paying $1,000 for a candy bar. You really aren’t getting much for your investment.
8. The Possessive (Paranoid) Toxic Controller
This type of toxic individual is really bad news. In an early stage of your relationship, being jealous looks cute as you are both in the honeymoon stage of the relationship.
Don’t believe it for a moment.
These toxic individuals will be too controlling as time goes by. From what you wear to work, or an outing, or even on jogging on Sundays to checking the odometer of your car to make sure you haven’t gone somewhere you “shouldn’t,”. Then slowly, they will ask questions why you are staying late at work. They will, in short, make your life miserable. There will come a time that they will do whatever it takes for you to cut relationships on your longtime friends and sometimes even with family. They do not look at you as their partner but as their possession. If you continue to stay in this relationship, you will never have a life of your own.
9. The Judgmental
Judgmental people make a negative moral judgment. They enjoy making harsh comments about everything, they will tell you exactly what is cool and not. They critically find fault with another person and they will make you feel about it. Instead of appreciating and learning new things or different from what they enjoy and believe in, they will happily judge you. Judgmental people will suffocate you in believing and standing up on what you really wish to do and say, you are not allowed to be expressive in an environment of judgmental people and the best thing to do is to cut them off of your life.
10. The Arrogant
An arrogant person will always see you as their competitor and not within their team. Arrogance is a false confidence, and it masks insecurities. They cannot be happy for all the success that comes your way as they will think you don’t deserve it simple because you gain more than them –whether it is new work, bigger salary, or even as simple as you both cooked his or her mom’s favorite dish and yours taste better. Remember arrogant people are insecure and they cannot believe and accept you are too is growing individual. A University of Akron study found that arrogance is correlated with a slew of problems in the workplace. Arrogant people tend to be lower performers, more disagreeable, and have more cognitive problems than the average person.
Here is a video of 5 different types of toxic people
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